Oh, What Mother Said! #NaPoWriMo (20)

AND THE ASSIGNMENT IS: to write a kenning. 
Kennings were riddle-like metaphors used in the Norse sagas. Basically, they are ways of calling something not by its actual name, but by a sort of clever, off-kilter description — for example, the sea would be called the “whale road.” For example, you might call a cat a mouse-stalker, quiet-walker, bird-warner, purr-former, etc. 

20 oh_gramma“Today we visit Gramma!” I warned the Family;
Everyone was elated, while I whined, “Woe is me!”
Because (my) Mother, in her advanced years, has a very awkward way;
Of making everything … sexual, regardless what you say!

Chef talked about changing flats (tires) yesterday;
Telling he lubricated the nuts, as they wouldn’t give away,
And the Old Girl had on the dirtiest grin and quickly had to add:
“Lubrication can cure any flat ye got, my handsome, ginger lad!”

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